jkgullo's Cancer Blog

May 14, 2008

I hope I'm Wrong

Views: 66

It’s been over a year since I was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer, with lymph node involvement as well. I knew that I might be in trouble when I was told the cancer had spread to my nodes. Since that time, I was always on the lookout for any abnormal signs after my treatments were finished. As radiation was in process, I started having horrible back pain in the lower area of my spine. “Bone mets” I thought for sure. I insisted on having a bone scan to make sure… and when the results came back that I had just a case of arthritis, I said my praises to the Lord. A couple months later, I felt a subtle change in my lungs whenever I took in a deep breath. “Dear God, it’s lung mets.” I thought again. I knew it. It had spread to my lungs. I insisted on having a chest x-ray. The doctor announced the results with a big grin. He said there were no signs showing metastasis to the lungs. I felt like I had been given a 2nd chance at life that day. It was like being reborn again. I skipped out of that office holding my husband’s hand and life was beautiful.
Tomorrow morning, I am going in for an ultrasound. I found a small lump near my incision where they removed lymph nodes. It’s about the size of a pea, round and solid. I’m terrified … and this time I have a funny feeling that the doctor isn’t going to be coming back into the room with a big smile on his face saying “false alarm!” This time… I’ve got a weird feeling that it’s back. I hope I’m wrong. I pray to God I hope I’m wrong.

Posted on May 14, 2008 at 5:41:59 PM by jkgullo ( I hope I'm Wrong, 3 comments)

I will pray with you…
Mac

Posted on May 14, 2008 at 8:35:29 PM by rigidridr

I can relate. I had a biopsy two weeks ago that freaked me out. But the doctor said I am fine. Let’s hope maybe the bump is some scar tissue building up.

Posted on May 15, 2008 at 7:52:53 AM by jill

I understand exactly what you mean. After my first bout with cancer in 1994, every little pain and every little bump scared me almost to death. Keep on with what you are doing about bugging the doctors. It is better to be safe and catch it early in case it does ever come back.
I will be praying for you that everything will be negative this time also. Please let us know the results, my friend.
Hugs,
Joyce

Posted on July 18, 2008 at 3:45:25 PM by joyce