jkgullo's Cancer Blog
September 5, 2008
| Okay... Who didn't cry? | Views: 99 |
I just finished watching “Stand Up to Cancer” and as soon as I saw Patrick Swayze walk onstage I teared up. It didn’t stop there. I cried with every personal story told. Hearing the promising news that researchers are on the cusp of finding a cure gives me hope for a better world for our children. I hope that someday the cure would be in a bottle. We would only have to so much as drink some nano-cancer-fighting-particles and get rid of cancer as if it were just a bothersome headache. That would be something…
I was looking at a picture of me before cancer… It’s sad that life was so carefree then. I now have this fear constantly hovering above my head like an endless black cloud. I try to remain upbeat for my family, but it’s hard – especially on days like today when I’m reminded about cancer and how it touches everyone in some way. I can’t imagine my girls growing up without me. It’s my biggest fear.
I am staying busy by training for the 3-Day. It’s this month. I can’t believe it. I am going to New York for my mom’s 60th birthday the first weekend in October. When I return, there will be an “unveiling” event at Saks Fifth Avenue here in Cleveland. My photo was taken along with other survivors a couple months ago. Those photos will be on the wall at Saks for the month of October. I’m ashamed that I wasn’t happy with my photo. I didn’t recognize the person in the proofs. This old, washed out woman was in the proofs. This old woman was me. I was shocked. I guess I didn’t realize how cancer has taken such a toll on my face. My hair didn’t help either. It’s in such an awkward phase right now, I have no idea how to style it.
After the unveiling, I’ll have to prepare for a surgery I’ve been waiting a long time to get. On October 8th I will be having a DIEP Flap surgery performed to reconstruct my left breast. I get a free tummy tuck, which is a bonus! I had to wait one year from the date I finished radiation for this surgery. I’m more than ready for this surgery.
I am posting a photo of me… It’s me b.c. (before cancer). I really miss that smiling, sassy, carefree girl in the photo. Maybe someday she will return… but not just yet.
Thanks for your support -
Welcome to the group! I am so bummed I missed the show. I am going to try and find it somewhere.
Kelly,
I know how you feel about being aged. I feel the same. Somehow, my appearance looks old and haggard. I get depressed about the short hair that everyone loves. A tip on short hair, it requires a lot of maintenance. A good cut every 6 to 8 weeks. Good luck on the DIEP flap procedure. I am fairly happy with my reconstruction.
Melissa
I cried and listened to the stories of all those that have fought the cancer. I am one of the lucky ones that did not have to have chemo or even lose my hair. But I am here to support and love each one of you during and after the treatments, recovery, I know here I can get the same support, when I need it.